FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van
UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist
USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth
Is this…shipping discourse?
Amazon once threw a package at my door and then took a photo while it was midair. Not sure where that fits in this schema but I did want to tell y’all about it.
ah yes, what every children’s animated series needs
Homestuck references
i love not being a homestuck fan cuz i get to look at these images of nothing. there’s nothing. no context could possibly be funmier than the dumb nigh-invisible bullshit that constitutes homestuck references. like the last image is the word “honk”. that, to me, is an untitled goose game reference. in conclusion homestuck is not real
The thing is. I would eat the grapes. I would eat the pomegranate seeds. I would eat the Turkish delights. It doesn’t matter what the stakes are if you put a little plate of snacks out in front of me I’ll eat them.
If you sent me to an evil fantasy realm and told me that if I ate anything I would die a painful terrible death then set a charcuterie board down in front of me that would be it for me. Like it wouldn’t even be like a torturous internal struggle to not eat the cheese. I wouldn’t even need to be that hungry.
![[ID: photo of a hand, holding a small sieve, sifting a white powder through it. the background is black. end ID]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b3fc08fe47edb9e6338e5ea9185f4b12/59e0d0b598c48b5b-c1/s500x750/92e7e4e38c2725307fe3a5d066001b5dc6bef167.jpg)
